I feel like if I post lyrics here from an established songwriter, it might get me one step closer to posting the lyrics I wrote but am currently too embarassed to share. So with that in mind, here are some Matthew Barber lyrics that I'm really liking right now (Where the River Bends).

"Tell me what you think, tell me what you feel
Is this thing a fake, or is it for real
Is it what you hoped for, what you dreamed
Is it something strange, that you never seen
Does it lift you up, closer to the light
Does it send you raging into the night
Where did it begin, will it ever end
Where the sun sets and the river bends
Where the river bends, is a place I've been
The water's not as blue, and the grass well it ain't so green
The current gets strong, it can pull you down
You gotta swim hard, if you want to turn around
But i don't want to go there, baby not with you
I'm happy right here, now I got a love that's true
So let's stay awhile, and invite our friends
No one needs to go where the river bends
I don't want to go there, baby ever again
I'm gonna be with you right here till the very end
So let's stay forever and ever and ever amen
No one needs to go where the river bends"

Also: I put up some friendly links on the right side panel for your enjoyment.
And: I know there are a handful of people who still read my blog in a secret way (because I can see the stats of how many people view my site per day). I'd really like to know who you are, what you think, and what you want to ask me about (but haven't yet). Challenge!

Finally: One more day until NaNoWriMo!!! (because I'm only doing half a month)

What! I can't build an entire life from scratch in 30 days or less?! Laaaaaaaaaame.

Funny, the things you "realize". As a result of "figuring out" that I can't snap my fingers and suddenly be working in a rewarding career when I'm techically still waiting for the University to give me my degree, I've decided that my theme this year is going to be patience. All the counsellors I've spoken to have made comments about just how difficult it is to get into counselling here in Victoria. Apparently, it may take months or even years for me to work my way through the system and get to do the kind of (paid) work I'd like. This is something that's particularly difficult for someone like me who cannot wait to live the dream life I keep talking about. Especially, I enjoy what I do so much that doing meaningful work is an integral part of the dream life. But, I have to remind myself that it's okay to take time for building things.

That goes for relationships, too. ;)

In the meantime, I'm still planning on making the most of my time, gaining relevant and new experiences in the counselling field. And ensuring that the stress of finding the perfect job doesn't get in the way of making me happy.

This post marks the (temporary) end to fun pictures accompanying my fun writing. A few weeks ago I busted my camera while displaying my ninja skills. Note to self: take camera out of pocket prior to displaying of ninja skills. Sigh. Consistently I'm spending money on fixing or replacing things I already have, and it's making the new things I want to buy a distant hope for future.

This week was the first time I was ever told that I could not volunteer for an agency and counsel adults there because I "look too young". Complete surprise to me because I've never had a client of any age have concerns about working with me. In general, they understand that I'm offering a particular expertise from 6 years of post-secondary and also 6 years in the human services field. And they're down with that. Oh well. I'm all over the philosophy that everything happens for a reason and I may now do some fund development work with them instead. Could be a really great learning experience, and they do seem like a great agency.

Wednesday was the Ani DiFranco concert. Some folks got particularly rowdy (not in a good way) after she sang a very political song. I got the pleasure of experiencing group discomfort. Then last night was open mic where a friend of ours was called to do an encore! Because she's that awesome. Today we're making my EPIC costume. Which I will make sure someone takes a picture of. And... that's the update! (See, it's not the same, is it?)

I'm under the false impression that I do this whole writing thing on a much more regular basis than I actually do. In my brain it's only been two or three days since my last blog post. But if we're going to do time like normal people, then it's been a lot longer, and you've all been waiting with bated breath to find out more about what's been going on with me. Time like regular people! Ooooo!

Last weekend I went to Vancouver and it was the MOST AWESOME thing alive. Friday we played music until 5am and Saturday morning we wrote a song. Don't worry folks, it'll be on the album. Then there was all you can eat sushi, karaoke, house parties with feminists, dance class, chocolate cake, and climbing a mountain. Pictures of climbing a mountain!:

Saturday morning/Friday night it's 2am and I'm trying to sober up after a night of drinking so that my parents won't be mad at me for being hungover on the same day that I'm leaving Edmonton. I help myself to a trusty bowl of cereal and keep working on the water situation. I even take a glass downstairs with me and leave it on the bedside table. At 5am the cat wakes me up to say hello. At 6am she wakes me up again to go upstairs. 7am she says hello again, but at least she wants to cuddle for half an hour. I eventually have to get out of bed because I feel like throwing up. I'm pretty sure I did my due diligence when it comes to avoiding the hangover though. The obvious other reason that my stomach is so tentative is that I HATE FLYING. Moving to Victoria has got to be the worst idea ever, because it involves me being on a plane by myself and being completely unprepared for what awaits me on the other end of that flight.

Fortunately, this is what awaits me:

So based on this experience, we're pretty sure that women walking their llamas are a completely normal thing to see on the streets of Victoria.

My cousin and her fiance are both vegans, and as a reuslt I've been having the BEST food of my life this past week. The cookies exploded a little bit.

It's a new theme! To coincide with my move to Victoria and what this website means to me now. Check out the "About the site" tab - I wrote a *really* long entry there that doesn't make sense to repeat here. Woo!

It's 9:00, and I've been exhausted/ready for bed for at least an hour. Does that make me mega uncool? Because that's clearly the most important thing. On the other hand, I think the life I chose is pretty tiring: looking for employment, housing, transportation, and attempting to finish my MA all at the same time. While in an unfamiliar city. (Unfamiliar city! Wooo!). The good news is, I've accomplished at least one of those things (for $300 more than I intended to... oops!). Oh and don't be fooled by the list price (if you can read it). That'd be in American dollars.

Last Friday my roommate and I went to see the Matthew Barber concert at this place on Stony Plain Road. I've been listening to him a fair bit lately and am really enjoying this song...

I also discovered Jody Glenham at that concert - an incredible musician.
http://www.myspace.com/jodyglenham
So here I am, spreading the love.

A friend of mine posted the following on her page awhile back and I've been waiting for the right time to post it on mine. Today seems right, for some reason.

"things falling apart is a kind of testing & also a kind of healing. we think that the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don't really get solved. they come together & they fall apart. then they come together again & fall apart again. it's just like that. the healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy."

-- Pema Chödrön (italics were added by my friend)

With the "big move" coming up in less than a week, I've been trying to sort out random pieces of paper that serve as relics. Some things are hard to let go of - anger, disappointment, etc.  I recently gave one of my clients the task of doing a collage with the theme "who I was", "who I am now" and "who I want to be". From there I ended up making my own collage of "who I want to be". Under each picture is some of those scraps of paper. Stuff that I've been holding on to and don't want anymore. The pictures remind me of times that I've felt really strong - volunteering in Thailand, windsurfing in the Dominican, and going out with some friends. And yes, that is a Wonderwoman sticker.

An old co-worker of mine gave me some writing advice in the not-too-distant past that I'm going to try out. He suggested that if I'm ever going to write about other people on this site, I should wait at least a month after the event, and I should make sure to change names and significant details to protect the guilty parties. What that means is if you want to know what's happening in my mind right now, you're pretty much just going to have to ask me. Or wait a month. And then travel backwards in time.

Right now I'm reading "Female Chauvenist Pigs" and really liking it. I officially have three weeks left at the YWCA and have to leave some clients behind that I've just started with. Spending a lot of time on the job hunt. And fluctuating from one extreme to the other in terms of how I'm feeling about leaving Edmonton. Some days I wish I had more of a reason to stay, and other days I can't wait to get out of this city. Edmonton has this strange grasp on me, especially now - I feel both like a tourist and finally at home.